You know that feeling when you’re newly in love and you drive all of your friends crazy because you just can’t stop talking about how spectacular the current object of your affection is? Well, I’m there right now and, if you will be so kind as to indulge me, I’ll tell you why. If you’re in an “I HATE hearts and flowers and anything having to do with romance” mood, I have a promise to make on the front end: There are more out there like this one. I know where they are and I’d be happy to make the introductions.
OK… I’ve got to back up a bit. Looks like I’m getting a head of myself. (See, didn’t I tell you I was feeling giddy?) I’m going to start at the beginning.
In order to properly appreciate the fabulousness of my new love, you have to start with an understanding of what I’ve been through. So… for those of you who aren’t already in the know, I’ll give you a quick introduction to some of my exes. (Trust me. There were others besides the ones mentioned below!)
This was young love. Simply put: I outgrew this one.
I don’t know how to describe this one without sounding crass and rude. I guess I’ll just come out with it: This one was rough and didn’t know what he was doing. He was common. He was a rank amateur. He was cheap and he left me completely frazzled.
This one had pretty boy syndrome. He was attractive enough to look at, but he was a bit of an airhead.
This one and I went round and round… for years. He had some redeeming qualities, but when I think back on our time together, I just bristle.
I could look back on all of these relationships with disdain, but I’ve chosen not to. I’ve chosen to take the high road. I wish them all the best. Having said that, I don’t wish for them to end up with any of you. Please learn from my mistakes. If you are not deliriously happy in this area of your life right now in the same way that I am, here is my advice to you… set your standards higher and venture out there and get what you need.Without further ado…. Let me introduce HIM. (Did you hear singing in the background? I did!)
This magnificent creature has kind of a long name. Just more of him to love, I say. His first name is PC. It stands for pin cushion. It’s a bit unorthodox, I know. Basically, it means that though he's got a tough exterior and though he’s lean and angular…he’s got a soft side too. I just love his soft side!
His middle name is Tourmaline. I didn’t know the origin of that name so I looked it up. (Even when I’m head over heels, I still run to Google, so I know what I’m dealing with.) Apparently Tourmaline has something to do with gems and ions and being a protector. Gem? That is a nice word, don’t you think? When I hear the world gem in conjunction with someone I’m involved with, I consider that to be a very good thing. Being a protector? How refreshing to have someone in my life who looks out for me… and ions? Well, I’m not going to over analyze that. Basically it means, he’s sending off some amazing vibes and that we’ve got great chemistry.
My beau’s last name is Paddle Brush. Kind of sounds like he’s got a wild side, doesn’t it? Maybe he does. I don’t ever call him by his last name though, I just call him Mr. Wonderful.
Since I’m among friends here, I’m going to kiss and tell. Mr. Wonderful and I spend a lot of time together when I am just out of the shower. As you might imagine, things are kind of steamy right about then. I always want to engage with him at this point, but I don’t let myself. Since I’ve read The Rules, I know I’ll have better results if I make him wait. I do. I dry off and then… he goes to work.
You want more details? Honestly, girls, show some decorum. This is a PG rated blog and I need to leave something to your imagination. I’m just going to tell you this: He is quite the smooth operator. He is sleek. He is sure and he brings out the very best in me. Let me tell you this too… I flat out love this one. I do. I like the way he looks. I like the way he feels and I think he’s a keeper.
Where did we meet, you ask? Well, Barry sort of introduced us. He wasn’t actually in the room when I first saw Mr. Wonderful, but he did tell me about all his incredible attributes and he did he did vouch for him.
Honestly, I’ve never been happier in this area of my life. I hope you don’t think it’s insensitive for me to gush and carry on like this when I know some of you don’t have this. I’m sorry. I just can’t help it! That’s how satisfied I am right now. As I said earlier though, though, I can hook you up. I want you to be this happy too! Just give me the word and I’ll gladly do the introductions.
Happy Spring, Girls! XXOO, The HHG
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