Turning Back The Clock

One of the main reasons I go to Hot Heads is to turn back the clock. I walk into the salon a woman of a certain age. I walk out decades younger. (Well, part of me does. The rest of me struggles to catch up with creams and glosses, clothing and exercise equipment.)

Tonight I won't be employing any of these products or methods. Tonight I'll be using a chair and my finger tip. Don't forget that Daylight Savings Time ends tomorrow (Sun) at 2:00 am. I feel younger already! :)

So Many Men, So Little Time

So it appears that word is getting around Florida that I, a soon to be legally single 40 something year old gal w/fabulous highlights, am about to be on the market again. In fact, just today I came home to find three rather lengthy voicemail messages from powerful, charismatic men seeking my time and attention. “Choose me! Choose me!”, they all pled! "Wow", I thought. "If this continues, my social calendar will be full in no time." Strangely though, they all only seemed interested in my availability on one particular day - Tuesday, Nov 2nd. Wonder what that’s about? Anyway, I’m not going to overthink it. I’m just going to take it as a sign that things appear to be looking up for me. :) Hope they are for you too!

An October to Remember

This has been quite a month. I started it traveling back through time.

(I spent the first weekend of October in Winter Park catching up with my old high school classmates and the second one up in Pennsylvania reminiscing with family and celebrating my cousin’s milestone birthday.) Tomorrow I’ve got a pre-dawn date with a wizard and I’ll be cloning myself. I can hardly wait to see what the final week has in store.

Tomorrow’s date is with a much younger man I’ve heard a lot about… one who gives the term “sending out sparks” a whole new meeting. Specifically, I’ll be meeting a guy known for a lightning bolt - shaped scar on his forehead. While I’m looking forward to seeing him, I don’t give us much of a chance. For starters, I don’t anticipate our being able to spend enough time together to see if there could be anything between us. Not only that, I understand that he’s in pretty hot demand and I don’t share men.

Don’t feel sorry for me though. If I don’t feel the magic with Harry, I understand that there will also be a significant number of men in uniform in the vicinity, as well as some very accomplished athletes and a few real characters.
Should be quite the interesting morning.

Once a month I run a 5K with a group of friends and tomorrow, we’ll be participating in the Universal Pursuit 5K, which is being sponsored by the Association of Chiefs of Police for the benefit of Special Olympics Florida. The course winds through City Walk, Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. Though I've been to CityWalk recently, it's been a while since I've been to the parks. I'm really looking forward to checking out Suess Landing and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

Dr. Suess and I go back as far as my own childhood. I'm not much of a cat person, but put one in a hat and you've got my attention. As for JK Rowling's contribution to the liteary world, she did what no one before her was able to do and what no one since has accomplished, she got my child to read for pleasure. For that, she'll always have my undying devotion. I would imagine that seeing Horton and his whos, Gertrude McFuzz and that snow covered Hogwarts Castle while running through the parks is going to be quite the rush. I can't wait!

I have done a lot of things in the Universal entertainment complex in the two decades it’s been around. Among other things, I’ve danced until the wee hours of the morning. I’ve dined on fabulous food and I have been catapulted through the air on some amazing rides. Tomorrow, however, will be my first time breaking a sweat there and I love that I'll be doing it for such a good cause.

To make tomorrow even more interesting, while the real me pretends to be an athlete and runs with cartoon characters so some real athletes – the Special Olympians - get a chance to compete, a pretend me – a cartoon me - will also be exercising. “I’ll” be nearing the end of a virtual walk across the country in order to increase the chances for some other special folks – a group of real warriors – women who are battling Stage IV breast cancer. Since its inception, I have been pleased to participate in this annual “event”, a 31 day online trek across our great land with a throng of other people and stops in almost every major city.

I really love this fundraiser! For a mere $5, participants get to create an animated version of themselves, “walk” the country without getting off their couches and help a group of women who really need and deserve some love and assistance. Maybe you’d care to join me for the last leg of this little jaunt… If so, log onto https://www.galtogalwalk.org/ and register.

Well, gotta go get some beauty sleep … so I’ll be ready for a day when two of me will be logging some serious miles. Sure do love these win-wins!

My First Time

So… I did it. I read a few articles so I’d know what to do and then I did my best to prepare. I went to the store and bought something nice. I put on just the right outfit. I put on some music. I made sure the lighting was right and then I … painted a room a color other than white for the first time in my adult life. The experience went exactly the way the books said it would: I was nervous. I was exhilarated. I got a good workout and I think it will go better the next time.

The room I painted was my guest bathroom. It was Mint when I moved in and now it is a shade called Fresh Avocado. (I’m sensing a theme here. Anyone care to join me in the loo for mojitos, chips and salsa?)

I selected Fresh Avocado because it is in the same color family as the predominant shade in my shower curtain. The problem is that this particular hue is a little too saturated. Since there are no windows or skylights in the room, it is now looking rather dark and a little too much like a 1970s Frigedaire. (Hopefully when the white towels and the shower curtain go back up, the end result will be a little less overwhelming.)

I reminded anew about the skill it takes to properly select and apply color and it makes me want to give a shout out to the team at Hot Heads who always get it right. Diane - who normally does my color - you are amazing!

The End Result :)

Split Ends

Though it defies logic, since I’m still cash strapped and living in limbo, I had a pretty great Summer. Summer’s over now though. Well, according to the calendar, Summer won’t really be over until next week, but the leaves are already starting to change colors. There’s a chill in the air. I’ve been wearing lovely jewel toned sweaters…. (OK... OBVIOUSLY none of that is true! :) School has started again, though, which means that whether it’s official or not, it’s Fall.

It also means that I am substitute teaching again. (Though my Summer did include some fun surprises, none of them were a book contract/a five or six figure advance, an offer letter for my dream job, a winning lottery ticket or a wealthy, handsome gentleman seeking my hand in marriage.)

Yesterday, I subbed for a Cosmetology class at the high school. Did this kind of class exist when I was in high school? I really don’t know. If it did, I know I didn’t take it given that I was all wrapped up in those pesky college prep courses, which were supposed to all but guarantee my stable financial future.

If we did have Cosmetology at my high school, I can’t imagine that the classroom was anything like this one. Honestly, I half way expected to see an aging Frankie Avalon come sauntering in with the Pussy Cat dolls and performing a hip hop version of Beauty School Drop Out.

In my Baby Boomer mind, high school classrooms have gray floors, desks, chalkboards and pencil sharpeners. They don’t have black and white checked floors, pricy electronic equipment, capes, adjustable chairs with dryer hoods and bins of mannequin heads with eyes that would scare Chucky.

What really blew my mind though, wasn’t the appearance of the classroom. It was the lesson plan. The students in three of the classes were supposed to either style their own hair or work their magic on the mannequin heads. The other three classes were supposed to watch The Style Network’s show, Split Ends, and then answer a few questions about the episode they saw.

For those of you not in the know, Split Ends is the salon version of ABC’s Wife Swap. A stylist from one type of salon temporarily trades lives with a stylist from another type of salon and hijinx ensue.

For example, in one of the episodes we watched on Wednesday, a glorified barber who generally comes to work in flats and no makeup and who works at a salon/antique shop in rural Washington state which caters to a local logging community trades places with the owner of an East Coast high end salon known for its very fashion forward, highly trained staff. The Washington state salon charges around $20 for cut and its counterpart charges somewhere in the several hundred dollar range for a precision cut and color.

It was another one of the many out of body experiences I have had since my hiatus from corporate America. Here I was being paid to watch bad reality tv while bored 17 year olds whispered back in forth about what they're going to wear to homecoming. Anyway, I left school yesterday afternoon a little more current on teen fashion and more grateful than ever that I don’t live in a community where I have to look at plaid flannel, decoy ducks and old furniture when it’s time to get my hair cut and colored.

What did you do yesterday? Did you go to Hot Heads? If you were smart, you did. (See my last post about the advantage of going to Hot Heads on a Wednesday.)

Wishing you a day with no Split Ends. Be back soon! The HHG

TGIW - Thank God It's Wednesday! :)

When it comes to days of the week, I think we all agree that Saturday and Sunday are by far the hippest, coolest, most fabulous ones on the calendar. Following a close third is Friday. Whether it’s a paycheck you’re after … or a hot date… or after work cocktails …. or a high school football game, Friday can usually pull it out of its hat. In fact, so celebrated is Friday that it even inspired a national restaurant chain*.

*I used to work at one of those restaurants, by the way, right after I graduated from college. My parents were thrilled! :) Working at Friday’s was just like college too. I learned a lot of stuff that is not helping me pay the bills in 2010 and I was exposed to things that were not part of the life I knew as a Winter Park teen. I learned to carry five glasses at a time. I learned how to garnish a chicken fried steak dinner. I learned that I probably shouldn’t wear red & white stripes and I was introduced to a number of outwardly very appealing things that the smarter girls knew were only meant to be enjoyed in moderation, then set aside… specifically Long Island Ice Teas, Brie cheese and the man I ended up marrying.

If Friday, Saturday and Sunday are the favorite days, Monday is the red headed stepchild. Who doesn’t share Karen Carpenter’s take on the day in the 60s era hit Rainy Days and Mondays… or the perspective offered by The Mamas & The Papas in Monday, Monday? Who among us didn’t feel creeped out by The Boomtown Rats’ I Don’t Like Mondays and whose blood pressure didn’t climb at the start of the work week when The Bangles’ Manic Monday came on the radio?

If I were Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, I’m sure I’d be tempted to pull the covers over my head and just stay in bed. Between the three show off days and all of the exciting things they have to offer and the unsavory day stealing more than its share of the spotlight with all of its gloom and negativity, it would be so easy for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to just feel overshadowed and unappreciated. It would be so easy for them to buy into the whole “Middle of the Week” stereotype and just throw in the towel and not even try to compete.

Sadly, it appears that Tuesday and Thursday have done exactly that. As days go, they just don’t stand out. They’re boring. They seem to run together and as a general rule, the public seems quite eager to hurry them along so as to hasten the arrival of their more glitzy, glamorous calendar mates. Sure Thursday made an effort about a decade ago with its NBC “Must See TV” line up, but since then it’s brought absolutely nothing to the table. As of today, Thursday barely has a pulse …and Tuesday? Tuesday has yet to even suit up for the game. It’s kind of tragic when you think about it.

Anyway, I could go off on a tangent about Tuesday and Thursday’s unrealized potential or I could do something more positive and direct your attention to a day that is much more deserving… the unsung hero of the week… Wednesday! I think I’ll do the latter! I’m an unabashed Wednesday fan and if you have a few moments, I’d like to tell you some of the reasons why.

You know that kid in school who made a name for himself despite that fact that he had neither a flashy sports car he had gotten as a birthday gift from the parentals … nor a genius level IQ … nor the athletic prowess of the kids who set county records and who lettered in every sport … nor the effortless good looks of homecoming royalty? Well, Wednesday is just like that kid. Wednesday refuses to get lost in the crowd, but it won’t sink to Monday’s level in order to get its recognition. Wednesday just works harder.

Wednesday has branded itself as a day to celebrate. In addition to the fact that it’s known in the professional arena by it’s nickname “hump day”, a nod to it’s role as the official half way point of the workweek, it also answers to the name “short day” in local academic circles. This is because, as every Central Florida parent, teacher, student and administrator knows, Wednesday’s final school bell rings about an hour sooner than any other day’s.

When it comes to TV, Wednesday’s offerings are among the finest. I have a niece who does her homework earlier every Wednesday night during American Idol season so she won’t miss a minute of the results show and there has been some talk among my circle of friends about initiating a standing Glee viewing party every Wednesday night this Fall.

Even the name Wednesday has a broad appeal. Like Tuesday (i.e. Tuesday Weld) and Sunday (Sunday Rose Kidman), Wednesday has reached out of it’s comfort zone to become not only the name of a day of the week, but the name of a real person and/or television character. While I am fairly sure that somewhere in this great land there lives a Wednesday Smith or a Wednesday Jones, I know for certain that there was a Wednesday Adams and that makes me smile.


Anyway, I could go on and on about all of Wednesday’s wonderful attributes, but I won’t because I don’t want you to spend your day at your computer reading about Wednesday. I want you to get out and enjoy your Wednesday. :) I’ll close with some news that I’m sure will make you happy. I just found out that Wednesday has offered up another gem. Wednesday is now a day where you can get more beautiful for even less money. Though I can’t give you all the details as they will vary from week to week, Hot Heads is now running every Wednesday specials. Want to know what they are? Pick up the phone and find out. 407-671-0480.

Well, I’m off to enjoy my day! Happy hump day and happy short day and happy get beautiful for less money day! Be back soon! The HHG

Back From The Brink

I have heard that in parts of the country people put logs in their fireplace. What I have in mine is a blue beta fish, who, up until about two hours ago, went by the name Michael Phelps.

As you may recall, my beta’s namesake got himself in quite the imbroglio about a year and a half ago when a compromising photo of him surfaced. I can only imagine what was going on in his head back then. He was probably thinking, “Wow. I feel like I want to die."

Here’s what my Michael Phelps was thinking during his recent moment of crisis. “WAAAHH! I don’t want to die! Somebody please save me! Unconsciousness is imminent. There’s a giant black and white beast with Zombie - like eyes lapping up my world.
For the love of God, somebody please do SOMETHING ...NOW!”

Thankfully, I walked in just in the nick of time. I reminded Brandy that her water bowl is in the kitchen and I made a beeline for the tap. I then grabbed the AquaSafe out of the catchall drawer, added a few drops and crossed my fingers. Thankfully Michael Phelps made it.

So… the fish formerly known as Michael Phelps is now known as Lazarus. He’s back from the brink. Just like my blog. Have you missed it? Have you missed me? Hope so. Be back again tomorrow! The HHG

Hot Weather... Hot Deal

Seems like we went from a steady diet of ten below zero (or at least that's what it felt like) temps last Winter to thermometers consistently registering in the 90 - 100 degree range. The calendar says we did have a Spring this year, but I can't find a single Central Floridian who can remember it.

Anyway, if you, too, are wilting in the heat and humidity, I've got some good news. For the remainder of July, Hot Heads is offering 1/2 off the price of a haircut with the purchase of any product.

Just wanted to pass that along! Hope you're staying cool and hope you're looking hot. Have a great Thursday! The HHG :)

The Rolling Stones of Hair Design

In 1968, I was wearing white go go boots, a pixie cut and Pucci – esque sleeveless floral dresses to the Mod Flower Girls Club meetings which took place during recess on my South Florida Elementary School playground.


In 1968, Barry Rovelto, hair stylist extraordinaire and co-owner of Hot Heads Salon in the Seminole Towne Center, was learning the principles of hair design at The Graduate Park Institute in Connecticut. Those courses marked the beginning of Barry’s formal training in the field. Since then, he has spent a significant amount of time on both sides of the classroom, learning new trends and techniques and sharing his expertise with up and coming stylists. During his career, Barry has worked as an Art Director and Manager for a well known chain of international hair salons. He has been an instructor/owner at a Hairdressing Academy. He has worked as an adjunct professor at a couple of local Community Colleges (both Daytona Beach Community College and Brevard Community College). He has presented at numerous seminars. He has participated in multiple hair shows and he has owned and operated several high end salons. Not bad for a guy who originally got into the profession because it paid fairly well and because it was a good way to meet women.

Fast forward to 2010… the former bachelor with the innate talent for making women look beautiful is now a happily married man who is widely recognized as being one of the top hairstylists in Central Florida. Staying relevant for over four decades in a field defined by ever changing trends and by the ability to make men and women look youthful, current and attractive is no small feat. That he’s been able to do this while maintaining a loving partnership and a long standing marriage with a women equal in talent, drive, business acumen and intellect and that together the Roveltos have raised a family and weathered the ups and downs of an ever changing economy while staying on the top of their field, is even more impressive. (Makes me think I’m getting my hair styled by the Rolling Stones of hair design. Though they’ve been doing this for a while, I don’t know a young upstart out there who can hold a candle to either one of them.)

Barry and his wife, Diane, met at the Tressa Training Program, also in Connecticut, in the early 1970s.



(This was Diane’s entry into the profession, but, as with Barry, it represented but the tip of the iceberg of her training and teaching work. Diane has worked with big name color vendors. She has done hair and make up for The Miss Florida Pageant. She has facilitated seminars and participated in hair shows. She has been nationally recognized. She has worked as an instructor at a Hairdressing Academy. She was an international hair salon’s Chemical Art Director and she has also co-owned and operated several salons.)

What started as both an attraction and a mutual respect between a then student and an instructor at a technical training program has blossomed into a thirty year marriage and a very successful professional partnership. According to Barry, he was crazy about Diane from the get go and says that even today, all these years later, there is still no one he’d rather spend time with. Per Barry, it is a privilege that he gets to work so closely with his wife. Far from considering it an obstacle to their marriage, he considers the fact that they both live and work together an asset and a gift. As an adult child of divorce and a gal whose been pretty badly burned in the relationship arena, I find this sentiment so refreshing and I admire and respect the Roveltos for this almost as much as I admire their talents. It is clear that both Barry and Diane share the same personal values and vision for their salon and that both have a very strong work ethic and commitment to quality.

What the Roveltos bring to hair design is both rare and valuable. They have been able to combine genuine talent, an almost unprecedented volume of experience, a love of and dedication to their field, a knowledge of what’s new and hot, a commitment to customer service and a sense of fun and friendship. This combination of skills and abilities is what has earned them the loyalty of their many long term clients, some of whom drive into the salon from as far as Tampa and Cocoa Beach and some who schedule school trips home around their hair appointments. I understand this!

If I was having open heart surgery, I would want a seasoned, knowledgeable and highly experienced surgeon who stays current in his field, who is knowledgeable about all of the new research and who isn’t afraid of technology to be holding that scalpel when the anesthesiologist puts me under. I wouldn’t want a cardiologist who was fresh out of medical school, nor would I want someone whose hands were shaky and whose personal medical library consisted only of decades old textbooks and outdated periodicals. I want the same level of experience and expertise from those who style my hair. With Barry and Diane and the Hot Heads team, I get this.

As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, I was initially referred to Hot Heads by a young, fashion forward former co-worker (and current friend :) whose sleek, dark tresses have been featured on the pages of a number of fashion and travel magazines. I figured if Hot Heads was good enough for her, it was more than good enough for me.

I went to Hot Heads because I heard they were the best and because I was impressed with their handiwork. I have continued going because I was amazed at what they’ve been able to do with a far inferior canvas. (As I have also mentioned, I remain disappointed that they have not been able to make me 5’10, Asian and so physically striking that one look at me might cause male coworkers to do things like walk into walls and mumble disjointed thoughts about potential future offspring and the origin of my last name (Yes, that’s an inside joke), but given that this is the only way Barry and Diane and the entire Hot Heads team have ever let me down, I’ve decided to forgive them for this. What they have been able to do with my hair, which is now naturally about 80% pepper and 20% salt and a texture which I equate with an object best used to scrub caked on food off of a stack of dirty dishes, is remarkable.

Hot Heads is different than a lot of other salons in that it isn’t staffed by Jacks and Jills of all trades. The Hot Heads professionals are specialists. This is by design. Barry and Diane both believe that having a team of colorists and a separate team of stylists is in the best interest of their valued clients.

The Hot Heads colorists are highly trained experts who understand the effect their quality products will have on an individual’s particular hair texture and natural shade. They know which hues work best together and which are most flattering to which complexions. They know where highlights fall naturally and they know just where the eye will travel when it takes in a person’s overall appearance. They are able to create drama when drama is what’s desired. If it’s subtlety that’s the order of the day, they apply just the right color combinations with just the right touch in order to create a look reminiscent of that client’s childhood mane. As I’ve said before here, I really do think, Diane, is a coloring genius. (I still think God ought to consider offering her a little contract work each fall so we can have exquisitely colored leaves on our trees like they do up north.)

The stylists at Hot Heads are so cutting edge. They can (and will) do “understated girl next door” if that’s the look a client wants, but they are also capable of creating some real show stopping dos – the kind that cause men to crane their heads for a second look and women to ask for referrals.

Barry and Diane are perfectionists. They take a great deal of pride in their workmanship and it’s obvious that they take their craft very seriously. They are committed to doing their best work with every single client and they expect the same talent, dedication and attention to detail from everyone who works for them. I have always admired this. When they hire new associates, they aim to hire the best and they commit to ongoing professional development.

Outside of work, Barry and Diane enjoy spending time with their two grown children and with their beloved dogs. They live a good distance from the salon, but they consider the drive a worthwhile trade off for the enjoyment they get from having a good sized tract of land, some privacy and a place where they can get outdoors and really enjoy our beautiful state.

Barry and Diane Rovelto are very talented, highly experienced individuals who run a top notch family owned and operated Central Florida business. That in itself is enough to make me want to support them. When you throw in the fact that I like them both as people and that they make sure I look and feel like a million bucks when I leave their salon, it’s clear to see why I’m such a big fan.

I write a lot on this blog about how happy I am when I leave Hot Heads, but I haven’t written nearly enough about why I feel that way. Perhaps this little snapshot into who the salon’s owners are and exactly what they bring to the table has helped explain that. Hope to see you at the salon 407-671-0480!

The HHG

Red, White & Blue - Not the Only Great Color(s) I Saw on the 4th

I forgot to mention one one other beautiful sight I saw on Sunday! Since I last saw my friend, Lisa, she got her hair colored at Hot Heads. I saw her briefly at the finish line as she was heading out to her car. (Lisa does a pretty convincing Joan Benoit Samuelson imitation at these events. On my my personal best day in years, she finished ten+ minutes ahead of me.)

Anyway, even windblown and drenched in sweat, her new do caught my eye. I couldn't believe how great her hair looked. She already looks like she sleeps in that contraption Austin Powers was emerging from at the beginning of his first movie. (She hasn't aged in years.) Now, if it's possible, she looks even better.

Looking to take a few years off as well... 407-671-0480. :) Have a great week! The HHG

Red, White & Blue - Three Colors That Never Go Out of Style!

A musical take on my day yesterday (if I was Nancy Sinatra :)

These feet are made for jogging. Yesterday that’s what they did
They ran the Watermelon 5K with some gal pals and a kid
A massive throng of people decked out in patriotic gear
Worked their way through downtown streets. ‘Twas enough to bring a tear.
These feet are also made for walking… last night in these flip flops
I walked the beach and saw fireworks and dodged a few rain drops.

I love the 4th of July! It’s one of my very favorite holidays! Yesterday was a particularly fun 4th, because I spent quite a few hours of it over at New Smyrna Beach. It was wonderful! There is nowhere in the world I’d rather spend Independence Day than at the beach!

At the beach, you get all of the sparkle and spectacle of the day, with the added bonus of surf, sun and snacks, and you get to enjoy it all without having to deal with crowds and traffic jams. I just love that! There’s something about sitting in a folding chair watching spontaneous celebrations erupt for miles in either direction while listening to the waves break and enjoying a frosty beverage or two that reminds me just how much I love this country!

I spent several hours last evening walking barefoot in the sand and enjoying a friend’s beach house cookout. It was a fun crowd! A friend of a friend twisted a college kid's :) arm about a week ago in order to make sure we’d all get to enjoy the most impressive fireworks display. The effort paid off! In very close proximity to the house and mere yards from the shore, big boxes of explosives were set off in the minutes before and after the beach patrol passed. (I’m fairly sure state lines were crossed, a respectable sum of money dispensed and lives and limbs risked in order to make this happen.) Though there were fireworks everywhere we looked last night, among the most colorful and amazing were those that materialized right in front of us as we stood on the third floor deck while enjoying a little vino and listening to some great music!

I loved the feeling of accomplishment after running the 5K. I was entertained by the sprinting stature of liberty and the sea of red white and blue. I took a one day respite from eating properly and did some real damage at the buffet table (YUM!) and I spent time with some really great people. Though we did have a little encounter with “liquid sunshine”, it passed quickly. All in all, it was an awesome, unforgettable day!

Hope your day was memorable too!. Hope today is even better! Paint your toenails red, pull your hair back in a ponytail, relax, hang out with the people you love, eat a little potato salad and a brownie or two and listen to Lee Greenwood. God bless the USA! :)

Central Flor'da Girls, We're Unforgettable!

So I’ve got a new favorite song in my workout playlist: Katy Perry’s California Gurls [sic]. What a fun, catchy tune! I don’t even detest running as much when it’s playing. I just hear the beat and imagine myself running in the surf in Daisy Dukes and a bikini looking like I did back in college. Yes, a few of the lyrics in this one are a tad on the racy side and Katy’s certainly not giving the Florida delegation its due, but all’s good. Whenever I like the tune of a song, but have problems with a lyric or two, I simply change them in my head. For example: California Girls can easily be sung as Central Flor’da Girls, no??

Anyway, speaking of changing lyrics, I thought you might enjoy a little ballad I “wrote” :) (ha!) to honor my favorite salon. It should be sung to the tune of the Beach Boys’ California Girls.

How’s your hair looking? If it’s not fine, fresh, fierce and unforgettable, it’s time to pick up the phone and call Hot Heads 407- 671-0480.

I Wish they All Could Be Hot Heads Salons!

East Coast salons are cool. I like the way they style gals’ hair.
And the Southern ones, with the way they cut… Wow! They’ve really got that flair!
In the Midwest, those salons…they really do it right.
And the Northern Ones? They’re so good with foil. They make their clients’ hair a pleasant sight.

But I wish they all could be Hot Heads Salons!
(Wish they all could be Hot Heads Salons!)
Yeah, I wish they all could be Hot Heads Salons!

The West Coast pros put in highlights that’ll turn the head of any man.
Their peers in other places create great looks too, then reach for a hairspray can
I been all round this great big world. Yeah, I seen straight locks and curls
But I couldn’t wait to get back to my state
Back to the best salon in the world.
Yeah, I wish they all could be Hot Heads Salons!

Now Playing in our Neighborhood: Jersey Girl

As I have mentioned before on this blog, I am currently more economically challenged than I care to be and because of this, I have had to do without a few things a gal should not have to do without. Case in point: cable. Because I don’t currently have cable, I have not had the pleasure of spending any time with the cast of Jersey Shore. (Well, more accurately, I haven’t spent any time with them for two reasons: 1) because of my annoying lack of funds and the related absence of cable, and 2) because I would probably have to put a bullet in my head, which would likely mess up my hair. I do know the group by reputation, however, given that I have an honorary PhD in pop culture. :) I just haven’t watched the show.

It occurs to me that I may soon find myself in the company of Snooki and the gang as they have been spending quite a bit of time in our fair state. (Several episodes of season two of their show will be set in South Florida - in a retirement community, on South Beach....) Obviously the hospitable thing for me to do, as an almost native - I had a little plastic Sunshine State license plate on the back of my tricycle - would be to reach out to these newcomers and clue them in as to how things are done down here.

Though I have not watched Jersey Shore, I do have some knowledge about the life they are used to living: a) My family on my Dad’s side moved directly from Ireland to New Jersey and spent several decades there before moving to Florida, and b) I’ve read most of the Stephanie Plum books.

Anyway, without further ado, I’d like to share my open letter to the most well known of the Garden State delegation:

Dear Snooki,

First of all, welcome! Grab some Orange Juice, pour some vodka in it if you must, and make yourself at home. If you’ve got a few minutes, I thought I’d provide a little info and couple of suggestions which might prove helpful to you during your stay here:

1) That sandy tract of land east of your temporary place of residence is called the beach. Shore is the last name of one of Benny Goodman’s contemporaries and a homonym for an affirmative answer.

2) Tanning beds went out with rubix cubes down here. We choose to look sun kissed, not sun groped and to do so, we go to the beach wearing our SPF 30 or we apply a little Jergens Natural Glow Foaming Daily Moisturizer. You’re looking a little too “Ross in that Friends spray tan episode” for our tastes. You might want to tone it down a bit.

3) Please don’t take this the wrong way, but Snooki sounds like a euphemism for an arthropod mating ritual. As nicknames go it’s just not cute and it will fit in here as well as Jim Bob or Hoss or John Boy would, which is to say, it won’t. You have a pleasant enough sounding first name. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go with Nicki or Nicole during your stay?

4) Let me introduce you to another six letter word starting with “s” – subtle. At the risk of hurting your feelings, it means, well, kind of the opposite of you. My mother used to say, “leave something to the imagination”. (That usually came towards the beginning of her “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” speech.) I think she had a point. You might want to consider dialing it back a bit in your fashion choices. Short skirts have their place, especially in South Beach, but a short skirt + cleavage + too much make up + a crazy fake tan is just too darn much.

5) Most importantly, you must do something about that hair! You are an attractive enough girl. Not sure if you’re going for Elvira or Sarah Palin or something in between, but whatever you’re doing is missing the mark. Might I suggest a salon a few hours upstate?

On a positive note, I’ve seen Tastykakes at Publix, so no worries. You’re not completely in alien territory. Give my regards to The Situation and enjoy your stay.

Yours Sincerely,

The HHG

Grounds for Dismissal (of Cellulite :)

Yesterday I wrote a somewhat controversial, but sorry, girls, all true, post about what it’s like to be a single woman in her 40s. As you might imagine, not everyone liked it. So as I always try to do when I get flak for something outrageous that I write :), I’m going to follow it up with a few clarifications:

1) I am a relatively confident gal, so please… no worries about my self esteem. I also don't really think I'm fishing with a tree branch, twine and a bent paperclip. (If that went over your head, please refer back to yesterday's post.) I am fishing in a pond, but I am, at least, using a rod and reel. It's a vintage model dating back to the Ron Popiel Pocket Fisherman days, but it works and it's still kind of, sort of cute. :) All I was alluding to is that a) men are visual, which they are - sorry if you hate that, but it’s true - and b) it never hurts to try and stack the deck in your favor.

2) The only women who thought I was exaggerating about “the pond” are my married friends. My single friends know the pond all too well and were quick to identify other species of fish that should be considered harmful to our health and well being.

3) I know that men of character care about more than just looks.

4) I know that what is supposed to happen will happen and if there’s a great guy out there for me, I will meet him with or without the assistance of a coffee ground paste. :)

5) I write about frivolous things on this site. This is a blog about hair and beauty and fashion. It’s actually supposed to be a somewhat amusing blog about hair and beauty and fashion. Never take anything I say on here too seriously. (Well, takewhat I have to say about where to get your hair cut and colored seriously, but that's about it.) For example, I don’t really think there are only three decent single men in my zip code. There could actually be as many as five.

OK, now that you’re no longer worried about me or my shallow, pessimistic outlook on life… let’s get back to the important matter at hand…vanquishing cellulite. (Maya from Completely Coastal, a blog I read on a regular basis, mentioned that Dr. Oz doesn’t think cellulite can be tamed. I’ve come to really appreciate Maya and I adore her blog. I’m also a huge Dr. Oz fan. Still, I say what can it hurt to give this a try? (Well, it could create an enormous mess in your bathroom and possibly leave you without olive oil for tonight’s dinner, but with those exceptions, what can it hurt to give this a try?)

I doubt seriously that a coffee ground/olive oil paste and Saran Wrap was ever given careful consideration by Dr. Oz or any of his colleagues and I feel certain that this methodology was never discussed in any of their scholarly journals. Here are the only facts I need to know: Demi Moore can afford pricey anti-cellulite treatments, but instead prefers this home remedy and Demi Moore bagged the fifteen years her junior and rather easy on the eyes, Ashton Kutcher. Anyway, onto my own research….

I did, in fact, give this a try and to my optimistic eye, my thighs and caboose look a little less frightening today. Here are what I consider to be the pros and cons of making and using the coffee ground paste:

Pros
Though there is not any research (that I know of) to support the claim that this works, a lot of people swear it does. Google it. This is a new concept to me, but women have been fans of this paste for years.

When you wash off the coffee and olive oil, the aforementioned areas of your bod will feel so soft and smooth.

Even in my economically challenged state, I can afford this “treatment”.

If you put Crest White Strips on your teeth and cucumber slices on your eyes at the same time you’re slathering yourself in coffee grounds and olive oil (as I did :), you will a) start laughing and improve your spirits and b) scare off any unwanted home intruders who should happen to wander in.

Cons
I had a hard time shaking the Marabel Morgan (Total Woman) “wrap your nude body in Saran Wrap and greet your man” image out of my brain.

You will feel a tad ridiculous while engaging in this activity. You will find yourself explaining to your pet why you are standing naked in your bathroom covered in a thick brown paste.

This is a messy venture. If you are the kind of gal whose blood pressure rises at the very thought of a gritty, greasy substance in the vicinity of your gleaming white bathroom tile, this may not be for you.

Chances are good, that when you’re done with this “treatment”, you’ll find yourself craving a donut.

Anyway, that’s it. Don’t ever say I don’t go the extra mile for you.
The HHG

PS Please let me know if you try this and/or if you know of any great single guys.

Grounds For (The Soon To Be) Divorce(d) :)

As I believe I’ve mentioned here a time or two, I am about to join the ranks of the no longer legally wed and I’m doing so at a stage in life where some of my contemporaries are outfitting their spare bedrooms with cribs for their grandbabies. (Obviously I have friends who gave birth in their early teens.) Being single at an age that starts with a “4” is not exactly how I envisioned my life unfolding.

Dating is complicated enough when you’re in your teens and twenties. Thinking about getting back out there when you’re less than a decade away from a regular 10% discount at TCBY is daunting to say the least.

The other day I was discussing this very matter with another gal who had ventured down the aisle with a member of the "Cute, but Troubled" Club and who, as a result, now also checks "Ms" in the prefix box when filling out surveys. She and I marveled at how delusional most of our married and more or less contented friends are. “There are other fish in the sea”, these women tell us. “Just get back out there.” Some even tell us that they’re jealous of us. They tell us that they’re bored and that they long for that “butterflies in the stomach” feeling of a new love again too, but that it’s just not in the cards for them since they’re married to good guys. They tell us that they sometimes wish that they, too, could get a “do over” and could date again guilt free.

It is so obvious that as they offer this advice, they are mentally traveling back through time to that well stocked ocean where we all cast our lines in our youth. They are thinking back to a math class with a quick witted aspiring attorney and to track practice with tanned, shirtless sprinters. They are remembering sizzling hot walk in refrigerator encounters with fellow employees at their summer jobs and all of the sweet, smart, funny guys in their church or synagogue youth groups. They are remembering neighborhood boys with lawn mowers out to make a buck and cute guys in cutoff jeans and feathered hair at the neighborhood pool. They are reminiscing about the days when we were all toned and taut and tan and when every guy we knew was single. They are remembering when we all had just the right bait and when the fish were plentiful. Makes me kind of want to slap them and these are women I adore. :)

We mid-life fisherwomen aren’t out on the open seas in sleek, brand new sport cruisers. We’re sitting in the weeds on the banks of a sparsely populated, polluted retention pond with a tree branch, twine and an unbent paperclip. Making matters worse, we’re doing this while remembering what it was like to fish an ocean teaming with life in a just off the assembly line, lightening - fast water craft. We’re also remembering that when we were all given that handbook about which fish to keep and which to throw back, we foolishly refused to read ours.

Many of the fish in our 2010 pond are flying fish (who jump from woman to woman to woman). Others are experts at squirming off the hook or they were thrown back by other women for very good reasons. Some are damaged goods. Some only have eyes for the shiny new lures. Those who have never been caught at all were not caught for a reason. They are die hard partiers or commitment phobes. They live with their mothers or they prefer the company of other men. Sigh!

Yes, there are still a few decent, hardworking, smart, faithful, funny 40 year old guys who are able to fall in love and to commit in this world. They’re not an extinct species. I even know where they are. They are married to many of the women who are envying us.

Now don’t get me wrong, I would never go after one of these guys, because a) I’m not the kind of girl to go after (or accept advances from) a taken man, and b) if one of these guys would cheat on his wife, then he is no longer worthy of the string of adjectives above anyway. I’m just saying that it makes me a teeny, tiny bit crazy to hear my married friends complain about home renovation projects that take longer than they should or about the fact that their husbands have lost their washboard abs. When these gals get all caught up in their grass is greener fantasies and tell me they want to live vicariously through me, I find myself wanting to lock them in a room and give them the 411 on what a real marital crisis looks and feels like and about what kind of dating market they would be re-entering if they were foolish enough to venture out into it by choice.

Having said all that, I will acknowledge that there are a handful of women out there who have given our gender a bad name. There are women who married strictly for money and who didn’t feel like sticking around when the going got rough. There are women who decided to play footsies with co-workers or with the pool boy and there are women who spend their afternoons at the neighborhood dive bar. I don’t think there are a lot of these women around and I can tell you for certain that there are none of this ilk in my circle of friends, but I understand that they do exist. I also know that there are men whose wives have passed away and men whose wives decided to play for the other team. I am not so cynical as to think there aren’t about three 40 – 50 year old single guys in my zip code who might be worth having. The problem is that at least one (probably two) of these guys will decide he’d rather be with a 25 – 35 year old now that he’s single again and the elusive one will find himself sitting in the proverbial catbird seat marveling at his good fortune. (It’s staggering to think about how many quality single women there are out there. I bet I could name 25 without even breaking a sweat.)

So… where does this leave me and the passel of other great newly single or soon to be single 40 something gals? Well, we can either a) Give up on men altogether b) Get involved with the safe, but socially backwards guys who are living with their Moms c) Continue utilizing poor judgement in this area of our lives and date someone who isn't dating or marriage material d) Start dating sixty year olds or e) Step up our games so that if we do come in contact with any of the mythical good single guys our age who aren’t casing college gyms for 20 year olds in Juicy Couture shorts, we will be in the position to land them.*

*I know how that sounds and believe me, it pains me to say it. I’m just facing reality though. If GLSG – Good LEGALLY Single Guy has to choose between Phenomenal Woman A who has major cellulite, mousy hair and gray roots and Phenomenal Woman B who has none of the above, the sad fact is that he’ll probably go for Phenomenal Woman B. If we’re honest, we would likely do the same thing if the odds were stacked in our favor the way they are for them.

It’s Economics 101. It’s that fundamental concept about supply and demand. These guys are in a position to be choosy, so guess what? That’s what they’re gonna be. I don’t begrudge them that. I mean, if they’re decent guys who are legitimately single at this age, odds are they’ve been through some pretty rough stuff. How great for them that they came out on the other side of pain and heartache to find themselves hot commodities. Kinda sucks for us though!

This brings me to the real reason for this post. I just read about the most entertaining and economical means of combating cellulite and I felt like I had to pass it along. I understand that this is a method employed by numerous well to do and in the know (about things of this sort) Hollywood types.

Basically, you take a mess of lukewarm coffee grounds, mix in about a tablespoon of olive oil and smear this concoction all over your thighs and derriere. You then take enough saran wrap to contain all this and wrap it around your lower extremities. Then… you wait for about twenty minutes and you shower off. (Did I mention that you should probably apply the coffee ground paste when standing on newspaper or a kitchen sized garbage bag?)

Anyway, because I am genuinely committed to the well being of my few, but faithful readers and because I have opted for “e” in the multiple choice scenario laid out above, I’m going to try this and report back. I’ll let you know how it goes. :)

A Hair Appointment That Left Her Seeing Red

I understand that in 2010, a typical driver’s ed curriculum consists of defensive driving strategies, simulator games, hands on experience in a real vehicle, road sign quizzes, drug and alcohol facts, discussions about the danger of texting and driving and rules of engagement for navigating around bikes and pedestrians. When I took driver’s ed, back in the late 1970s, the bulk of the class involved viewing ghastly footage of twisted and mangled vehicles and bodies covered by sheets.

I’m sure much of the new curriculum is the result of top notch computer programming and years of research. Having said that, guess who I’d rather get in the car with - a graduate of the 2010 class or a Baby Boomer who was scared witless by a barrage of blood and guts? I’ll put my life in the hands of that 40+ year old every day of the week. When it comes to behavior modification, fear does have its place.

I tell you this, because today I’m sharing a cautionary hair tale. I feel certain that after you read it, you will sprint to your phone and dial up Hot Heads.

One of the blogs I read on a semi-regular basis is called Lisa and Laura Write. Basically it contains the random musings of two sisters who are writers in the young adult genre. (Think Stephanie Meyer minus the gazillion dollar advance.) I knew I should follow them as soon as I read their bio. Here’s how they describe themselves: The Hilton Sisters - spray tans + brains - 4 inches + 20 (ok, fine...30) pounds ÷ Cleveland, OH. Love it!

In their Friday, June 4th post, http://lisa-laura.blogspot.com/2010/06/hair-mergency.html, Laura reminisces about a former do that sounded quite like the trademark look of skateboarder, Shaun White aka The Flying Tomato. She used the words “red” and “mullet” in the same sentence and I think we all know that the only time that should happen is when one is discussing fish.

Her post goes on to detail her current “hair-mergency” which involved a stint as a maid of honor, a stylist with a compromised immune system and an end result which left me craving the following summer cocktail. (Check out the post and you'll understand. It's rather amusing! :)



In the meantime, I’m going to tell you again, girls. You can’t leave these things to chance. If you want to look fabulous, and I know you do, stay in Florida and book your appointments with the hair professionals at Hot Heads 407-671-0480. If you don’t, there is always that possibility that your hair will end up looking like the top 2/3 of a traffic light. Is that a chance you’re willing to take? I think not!

Wax On, Wax Off!

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, there sure have been a lot of posts about movies on this site lately. Guess this is another one. Guess this is a post about that new Karate Kid remake starring Will Smith's son, Jaden. Wrong, Grasshopper! This is a post to let you know that you Hot Heads has waxing services now!

I still know what you're thinking. You're thinking of that Paris Hilton catchphrase from a couple of years ago. You're thinking, "Wow"... "That's hot!" 'Cept guess what? It's not...hot, I mean. Hot Heads has cold waxing services. Cool, huh? :) Confused? Don't be!

One of these days, I'll put up a whole post about cold waxing telling you all of the advantages of it. Before I get to that, however, I'm going to give you a homework assignment...also movie related. (I'll get off this kick soon, I promise!) Go watch that scene in The 40 Year Old Virgin where Steve Carell gives hot waxing a try. Is that image seared in your brain? OK... THAT'S why Hot Heads is offering cold waxing. More details to follow.

In the meantime, don't spend one more day sporting those bushy brows. Hot Heads 407-671-0480.

Carrie On!

So... today's the day... opening day for Sex and the City 2. Wish I was seeing it tonight! Won't be long though. Can't wait!! :)

Back To The Future

I just saw on AOL that some guy invented a hovercraft. It's not capable of holding a human being or of whisking anyone through time and space or anything, but it's a start. We've already got our Dick Tracy watches. (Well, we don't wear them on our wrists and people call them cellphones, but we all know what they really are and who thought of them first.) Now that Hovercraft 1.1 is a reality too, can Doc Brown's DeLorean be far behind? I think not.

I have been saying for some time that the only way I'd go back to my 20s would be if I could take my 40 something year old brain back with me. What if I could? What if I could take my 2010 knowlege about men, life, the importance of accessories to an outfit and a timeline for the dotcom bubble and bust back with me? What if all of that knowledge resided in my 20 year old bod? Oh my goodness, I'm fairly certain I could rule the world.

I'll Tell You What I Want... What I Really, Really Want

The two times I’m most aware of being single and most unhappy about it are 1) during the Christmas Eve Service at church and 2) when I have car trouble. So if I’m feeling really single right now and it’s not Christmastime, guess what? In addition to the fact that my car is in the Lowe’s parking lot (and I'm not!), I have a dog in intestinal distress. I could elaborate, but I won’t.

I just finished The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan. It’s a really well written and surprisingly amusing - given the subject matter - memoir about a young wife and mother’s battle with breast cancer and her beloved father’s simultaneous fight against late stage bladder cancer. Having finished this book immediately prior to my current round of every day frustrations has made them much easier to bear. It has certainly helped me keep things in perspective….so did a pep talk from the Divine Miss M.

One of the things I think I may do someday is write a book of cinematic remedies i.e. Need a little lift? Take two Reese Witherspoon movies and call me in the morning. I am a firm believer that in the same way a great new hairstyle, a day at the beach with your best pal or a small dish of Haagen Dazs Pineapple Coconut ice cream can cure what ails you, so can viewing the right movie.

What I needed today was The Women (the remake). I haven’t seen the original, though I hear it’s wonderful! I needed to see Bette Midler’s character, Leah, in sweat pants and chemically altered state, encouraging Meg Ryan’s Mary to figure out what she really wants so she can go after it. I needed to see Annette Bening’s Sylvia put the spritzer girl, Eva Mendes, in her place. (Gotta love a friend who really has your back.) I needed to see Debra Messing’s Edie go from a woman whose head looked like it was going to spin off (gosh I wish I had thought of that line) to someone enraptured with her newborn baby. (I needed to see someone make it through the hard stuff and get to the prize.) Mostly I needed to see a woman who had been kicked about a bit by life rise from the ashes sporting the most spectacular do.

When Mary came home from the summer sleep away camp for divorcees where she met Leah, she got right to work on a vision board. Under the words “What Do I Want?” she posted all kinds of interesting and pleasing images. She then went to work trying to make those images a reality.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have my own vision board. I’m looking at it right now. It’s sort of a big picture thing though. It represents everything I want in my life over the next several years.

Big picture things have their place. If, for example, I wanted to drive to the San Francisco, CA area, a big picture thing would likely prove helpful in getting me there. Specifically, it would tell me I should do things like turn left when I hit North Florida.

A big picture thing would not help me find Fred’s Place in Sausalito once I got to the Bay area, however. To find Fred’s place, I would need a smaller picture thing, like… a city map.

My big picture things are all still out there waiting for me…the quaint blue table overlooking the Mediterranean Sea in Greece, the really, great guy, my royalty checks… In the meantime, I need to put in my appetizer order. What I want right this minute are the following:

I want my car to be fully functional post haste and I don’t want to part with much cash in order to make that happen.

I want my sweet pup to stop doing her Mount Vesuvius imitation and if God forbid, she’s not ready to stop yet, I want her to learn the meaning of the word tile.

I want the crazy eyed, Summer obsessed teens in my charge over the next couple of weeks to remember what they’ve seen on Nick at Night and pretend they’re in an episode of Happy Days. I want “Gee” to be the worst thing I hear coming out of any of their mouths.

I want to get a call from somebody in the position to offer me a real job which will allow me to make more than my 21 year old son expects to make this year playing a guitar and flipping his hair around.

I want to lose those final 15 lbs of baby weight, given that my baby is an adult now. I would be most pleased if I could accomplish this in BLT (Biggest Loser Time). In other words, a double digit loss by next week would be kind of nice. I think I’ll put in my order for that.

Hope you aren’t dealing with any of the huge, truly awful things. That’s my biggest wish for you this week. If, however, you’re being pecked to death by chickens right now like I am, well then, I hope you make lemonade or chicken salad ... or whatever it takes to make those annoying little troubles disappear.

BTW, in case you’re wondering… Here’s the scoop on The Women.

Hair B: There’s lots of great hair in this movie. I liked Annette Bening’s and Meg Ryan’s “after look” the best though. I’m currently really digging that sleek, straight and shiny look that no one, even young pregnant women of Asian decent who are eating right and popping the priciest prenatal vitamins out there can hope to achieve without benefit of a flat iron.

Chemistry/Most Romantic Scene B-/C+: There are no men in the film, The Women… NONE… NADA… ZIP. There are no men on the street outside the department store. There are no men in the restaurant scene and there are no fathers, brothers, husbands or guy pals in any of the women’s homes. In fact, the only male character to get any screen time at all in this movie is Edie’s newborn baby son, and for all I know “he” could’ve been “played” by a girl baby. As for a love scene, there wasn’t one unless you count the lightening fast moment where Jada Pinkett Smith’s lesbian character looked with lust at Mary’s husband’s mistress.

Since there are no male actors in The Women and no love scenes, I’m evaluating Chemistry and The Most Romantic Scene differently in this movie. The Women contains some good friendship moments. I liked the interaction between Sylvie and Mary’s daughter, Molly. I thought Cloris Leachman’s character Maggie was a hoot. It was really fun to see her grow to love Mary in spite of herself…and when that gigantic baby boy finally made his entrance…. Well, the feeling that was in that room should be bottled and sold.

Having said that, I’ll keep my own friends and family, thank you very much. The tag line in the original movie was The Women: It’s All About Men. The remake was supposed to have a different emphasis. It was supposed to be all about women… the kind of women we all know… 21st century gals who are intelligent and accomplished… who have options and who are supportive of each other.

The thing is, the women in this movie really weren’t relatable to me. Among other things, my friends would never consider “keeping it in the vault” if they knew a guy had done me wrong and they certainly wouldn’t sell me out for financial gain … no matter what kind of pressure they were under.

Then there was Mary's Mother, Catherine (Candice Bergen). Catherine, because she was unwilling to walk away from the finer things in life for either love or integrity, because she was from a different generation and because she survived her own husband's dalliance with a woman of ill repute, advised her daughter to look the other way while her husband carried on his sordid little affair. Well, for those of you who don't know my mother, Barb, let me tell you these three facts about her: 1) She was raised with a silver spoon in her mouth, 2) She was born during FDR's presidency and 3) she did face this issue when she had young children in the house... three of them to be exact. In other words, if there is a woman out there who should understand Catherine's perspective, it's my mom.

OK, now let me tell you one more thing: I would be calling the CIA and requesting an inquiry if Catherine's words ever came out of my mother's mouth. If she told me to look the other way while a man cheated on me, I would want the Roswell investigation reopened because that would be proof positive to me that she had been abducted by aliens and lobatomized.

Lesson Learned: Who knew that there was such a thing as sleep away camp for the newly husbandless? Guess I’d better start gathering my mess kit and little plastic toothbrush cover.

Overall Rating C: Gosh, I wish I liked this one more than I do. I wanted to! I planned to! Unfortunately, watching it is sort of like being at “THE party” in a tony Parade of Homes house on the lake and wishing you were sharing a bottle of two buck chuck with your best pals on someone’s back porch. Everyone who is anyone is there, but it just isn’t that much fun.

When I watch this DVD, I watch it for the few specific scenes I’ve already mentioned and for the fashion show. They make the movie for me. On the kind of days that involve Woolite Spot & Stain Carpet Cleaner and jumper cables, those scenes leave me feeling quite empowered.

From Hair To Eternity, Volume II

Baseball has its pinch hitters. In my social circle, we have what I have coined the pinch viewer. A pinch viewer is a substitute movie date. If, for example, a movie is known to be full of blood, gore or Will Farrell in some state of undress, my friends will suggest that their husbands go see it with their brothers or work pals. If, on the other hand, a movie is three tissue affair, well, that’s where I come in.

As the singleton (gotta love Bridget Jones) in the ranks and as a gal who is known to have a penchant for hopelessly romantic storylines, I am the go to girl when a friend wants to see the chick flick du jour. This is how I ended up seeing Letters to Juliet the other night. My friend Nancy’s husband, Jimmy, broke out in a cold sweat at the very thought of having to sit through it so he suggested that I take his place.

I still owe you all a few From Hair to Eternity movie reviews from last February and at some point, when I determine that we all need a shot of adrenaline to shake us out of our Florida heat - induced summer comas, I will deliver the goods. Right now, however, with the school year winding down and with the economy looking up, I think it’s time that we all take a trip to Verona.

As you may recall, in my From Hair to Eternity mini-reviews, I give each film an overall rating and I evaluate it in two categories: 1) What I thought of the female lead’s hair and 2) whether or not there was any chemistry between the main characters. I also let you know what I found to be the most romantic scene in each movie and what, if any, lesson(s) I learned from watching it. So, without further ado, I give you the newest installment of From Hair to Eternity, this time featuring the movie, Letters to Juliet w/Amanda Seyfried, Vanessa Redgrave, Christopher Egan, Gael Garcia Bernal and Franco Nero

Letters to Juliet




Hair B+: Amanda Seyfried has pale skin and she wears very little or very natural looking makeup. She has thick eyebrows, lips on the fuller side and a nose that is not in any Hollywood plastic surgeon’s inspiration book. She is, in fact, quite average looking in appearance and build with the exception of two things: her big - I mean crazy big, blue/green eyes - and her hair.

Amanda Seyrfried’s hair is the stuff of adolescent boys’ dreams: soft looking, shiny, full bodied, exceptionally long, layered blond hair that frames her face perfectly. Amanda Seyfried oozes girl next door charm (if the girl next door had the type of hair that could’ve landed her one of those 70s era Breck girl ads). Amanda’s hair is what you think of when you hear her name. It defines her. In fact, I half way expected it to get its own billing in the movie. That’s how fabulous it is. (It’s not for nothing that she’s on the cover of the current issue of InStyle Hair.)

One of the things that really struck me the most about this movie was its visual impact. It was, after all, filmed primarily in and around Verona, Italy. Amanda’s hair held its own against the breathtaking countrysides and charming old buildings. I challenge you to find a single person – male or female - who has watched this movie who doesn’t have something to say about Amanda Seyfried’s hair. It really did look amazing.

As for Vanessa Redgrave, whose white gray hair fell loosely below her shoulders and was sometimes pulled back in a ponytail, Nancy and I were conflicted.

Nancy felt like it didn’t do her justice and she suggested several other styles that would’ve been more flattering. I thought it was fitting for her character – an older, widowed, tell it like it is, Brit, who had the residual confidence of one who really had it going on in her youth.

Chemistry B: (Spoiler alert)There were really three couples to evaluate here: Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) and her finance, Victor (Gael Garcia Bernal),
Sophie and Charlie (Christopher Egan), the grandson of Vanessa Redgrave’s character, Claire


and Claire and Lorenzo (Franco Nero).

As for the youngsters, I just wasn’t feeling it. Amanda Seyfried burned up the screen with Tatum Channing in Dear John. (Guess that’s not really a fair evaluation because a rock could’ve burned up the screen with Tatum Channing) The chemistry also felt real between her and Dominic Cooper, her Mama Mia co-star, particularly in their Take a Chance on Me duet on the beach. (Guess it was real as Mama Mia was their Mr and Mrs Smith. Apparently the couple got together in real life during the filming of Mama Mia, much to the dismay of Cooper’s long time, live in girlfriend back home).

There was supposed to be a disconnect between Sophie and Victor, so we’d root for the cynical on the outside, devoted grandson and there was. Victor wasn’t completely devoid of appealing traits, but he was so distracted by his true love, food, that I wanted to break up with him for her (and as those who know me can attest, I have been known to patch broken relationships back together when there was no sign of hope.)

We were supposed to feel the heat between Sophie and Charlie and sorry, but I didn’t. About half way through the movie, we found out that Charlie’s parents had been killed when he was a child and that he had gone through a break up with an on again off again girlfriend about a year prior. This insight was intended to explain his gruff manner. While it did, it still didn’t make him endearing. The change from curmudgeon to would be charmer was just too abrupt for me. I did want Sophie and Charlie to get together, but I wanted it in the way that I want my favorite non-Dolphin team to win the Superbowl. I was cheering for them, but not loudly and I didn’t really feel strongly one way or another about their romantic future.

Vanessa Redgrave (Claire) and Franco Nero (Lorenzo), on the other hand, had chemistry. When Lorenzeo first looked into Claire’s eyes after fifty plus years of separation, well, the feeling was palpable. Was it a stereotype? Of course, but like I said in my review of The Notebook, if it works, it works and this worked.

What I didn’t realize until I got home was that Vanessa Redgrave and Franco Nero are married in real life. Apparently they are one of those couples who married young when in grips of lust and passion. They then split and reconciled years later because they never really got over each other.

(They met in 1966, when she played Guinevere and he Lancelot in the movie Camelot. They had a son together in 1969. Sometime after this, they broke up, though they remained close. At some point in the mid – 1990s, they got back together as a couple and they have been married since 1996.)

Most Romantic Scene: This is a no-brainer. The one mentioned above and featured prominently in the movie trailers, where Lorenzo comes riding out of the fields and recognizes his long lost love after almost five decades, is the money scene of the movie.

Lesson Learned: I want to go to Italy. I actually didn’t learn that in this movie, so much as remembered it. I have taken a couple of sessions of adult education Italian and though, I still don’t know much more than how to say, "Thank you!" and "Please pass the wine."; I would love to have the opportunity to put my limited language skills to the test.

Overall Rating B: My expectations going into this movie were low. I saw some particularly formulaic romantic comedies back in February and I knew this one had gotten mediocre reviews at best. I also knew it was directed by Gary Winick, who had been at the helm of the completely pointless, Bride Wars.

This film surprised me. I liken it to those little crème filled sugar wafers that can be found on the snack aisle at Walgreens… the kind I know I shouldn’t like, but still do. Will this one win any Academy Awards? Nope. The scenery was breathtaking, though. The food was as much of a character in this movie as it was in Julie and Julia and it did make me smile.

Do you want the plot? Hmmm. Well basically, a fact checker/wannabe serious writer from The New Yorker (Sophie) and her fiancé, Victor, a chef who is about to open a restaurant in New York, go to Verona, Italy on what is supposed to be a pre-wedding romantic vacation. Once there, Victor is wined and dined and wooed and distracted by an elderly Italian home cook and by his suppliers from vineyards, cheese shops and produce vendors all over the region. Bored with this, Sophie goes off on her own to sightsee. During her travels, she discovers a small group of women who answer letters that the lovelorn put into chinks in an old stone wall which is part of a replica of Juliet’s famous balcony.

Sophie joins the group and as a result, responds to a 50 year old letter she finds tucked back behind a newly dislodged rock in the wall. It tells of a relationship between two people who weren’t supposed to fall in love, but did: a young, well to do British girl traveling abroad and the son of an Italian farmer. In short order – very short order it would seem (think Jimmy John’s sandwich delivery fast) – the letter’s writer, Claire, and Claire’s grandson, Charlie, show up. Claire, now a widow curious about her long lost love, Lorenzo, and moved to action by Sophie’s letter and Charlie, there to accompany his Gram, though none too happy about it, soon find themselves driving the Italian countryside with Sophie in a quest to find Lorenzo.

Remember that bit in My Big Fat Greek Wedding about everyone being named Nicholas? Well, apparently everyone in Italy is named Lorenzo. Anyway, after finding Lorenzos everywhere from a marina to a cemetery - There are a few amusing scenes that take place during the search - they finally find THE Lorenzo, now a widower, by way of his look alike grandson. It’s all very romantic, as you might imagine.

This movie reminded me of My Life in Ruins in that it consisted of a predictable plot (the defining moment in Sophie and Charlie’s relationship is when he climbs a balcony to get to her) set against a backdrop of spectacular scenery. I liked it better than I liked My Life in Ruins though. In this movie, the whole just seemed to be greater than the sum of its parts… for me anyway. I found Sophie’s character likeable. I loved Vanessa Redgrave and Franco Nero, both individually and as a couple. I enjoyed listening to the little bits of spoken Italian and trying to see if I could understand them. I left the theater craving truffles, parmigiano reggiano and a full bodied red wine and the movie ended with a girl who likes to write falling in love with someone who came into her life seemingly out of nowhere and swept her off her feet – literally. (See reference to balcony scene above. :)

I didn’t expect to like this one and I did. Nancy did too. Would Jimmy have? Will your husband, boyfriend or significant other? I’m thinking no.

Here’s my recommendation: Listen to that old edict from the Prince of Verona and don’t let there be unrest in your house. Tell your guy to go do whatever he likes to do when he narrowly escapes accompanying you to a romantic comedy, grab a designated viewer, eat somewhere fabulous first (so you can watch all those scenes with the pasta and bruschetta without feeling hostile towards your tub of oily movie theater popcorn) and go enjoy Verona.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful Mothers out there!

A special shout out to Diane and Georgette! Hope you get pampered and spoiled today! You deserve it! :)

It's Sunday!

Did I say the “Whose Celebrity Hair Is It?” contest winner would be announced on Sunday? I meant to say the winner would be announced by Sunday… Sunday Rose Kidman Urban, to be exact. Take it away Sunday… (sound of envelope ripping open)…

Congratulations, Lady Nole! Your swag bag is on its way!

Based on the stats, there appeared to have been a lot of lurkers on the contest post :), but not a lot of guessers. (By not a lot, I mean there was exactly one!) There are several possible reasons for this:

1) Most of you don’t like free things.

2) Most of you are pop culture challenged.

3) Most of you are shy.

4) I didn’t properly explain the fabulousness of the contest prize.

5) I have gone on record as saying that I’m an Oprah fan. Maybe you’re not. Maybe you had the same reaction to seeing my face that many times that you have to seeing Oprah on the cover of her own magazine every month. Maybe this post just included too darn many pictures of moi for your taste and sensibilities and you wanted nothing to do with it.

6) Maybe you thought there was such a disconnect between my 40-ish (emphasis on the “ish”), relatively average looking features and all that red carpet worthy hair, that your circuits overloaded. Maybe this caused your brain to smoke and/or hiss and rattle.

7) Maybe you stumbled onto this blog from somewhere outside of the sunshine state and you didn’t think I’d mail you your prize (I would have!) and/or maybe sitting things out and watching is just your M.O. Maybe when Lee Ann Womack sang, “when you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.”; you politely responded: “Thank you for the advice, but I’m still going to pass. I’ll be over here if you need me.” or

8) Seeing me in Lady Gaga’s hair was so profoundly troubling to you that a week down the road, you are still sitting in a catatonic state rocking back in forth in front of your computer.

Well, once again… I’m here to help! If your reason for not participating was answer:

1) I would like to refer you to the Clark Howard website. http://clarkhoward.com/ Free is good, girls!

2) Might I recommend a daily regimen of Entertainment Tonight until you have a respectable knowledge base in this area. You never know when you’re going to find yourself on a game show where the only thing standing between you and $50,000 is your ability to tell the difference between Jessica Biel’s hair and Jessica Simpson’s.

3) Here’s a link to a Wikihow site that explains how to get past all that: http://www.wikihow.com/Become-Outgoing-if-You-Are-Shy. It offers some fabulous advice i.e. When asked what to order at a restaurant, don’t just say, “I’ll have special number one.”. Try something like this instead: “One - please, it's so delicious." That way you can start up a conversation with your server, who, after all, is kind of getting paid to be friendly to you.

4) Sorry! My bad…and your loss!

5) In my defense, if I had put the faces that went with each hairstyle under them instead of my own, the contest would’ve been a little too easy. Don’t you agree? How about this? How about I tell you how to put your own face under all those different styles? That will give you the desired break from looking at my mug and it will help you prepare for your own trip to Hot Heads. By the way, introducing the website where I did this was actually one of my primary reasons for the contest to begin with. I think you…your daughter….your niece….are really going to get a kick out of trying this yourself. (A full post explaining how anyone can try on celebrity hair will be up sometime later this week.)

6) Sorry, but I’ve got news for you. I have 40-ish, relatively average looking features and red carpet worthy hair in real life. You’re just going to have to get used to this. (I promise, the shock will lessen over time.)

7) OK… carry on!

8) I don’t have anything to say here. That is perfectly understandable. Hope you’re feeling better!

According to Woody Allen, 80% of success is just showing up. LadyNole showed up! Yay! (Not such a great showing, Florida Gator fans! Would Tebow have sat on the sidelines like that? I think not! :) Sorry, but it had to be said.)

Anyway, thank you for participating and/or for stopping by and congrats again to Lady Nole! Oh… and by the way… here are the answers to the quiz:

1) Taylor Momsen
2) Selena Gomez
3) Reese Witherspoon
4) Lauren Conrad
5) Lady Gaga
6) Jessica Biel
7) Jennifer Lopez
8) Heidi Klum
9) Farrah Fawcett, and
10) Christina Aguilera

Have a great week!

Ready for Sex and Babies!

In biology class, sex comes first and then come the babies. In this year’s Summer movie line up, it’s the other way around. Two of the films I’m most excited about this season open this month: Babies, a documentary following the lives of four precious little ones born on different parts of the globe (Tokyo, San Francisco, Mongolia and Namibia) from their big premiers :) until their first birthdays, opens on May 7th (Mother’s Day weekend). I am fascinated with the way people in other cultures live, so much so that I minored in Sociology in college… and babies… oh my goodness do I love them!

I adore their tiny feet and the oh so cute shoes that go on those feet. I love their sweet hands…. especially when they’re reaching out to grab one of my fingers. I find their smell intoxicating… most of the time. :) I am completely enamored with their toothless, drooly grins. I get a kick out of watching them discover new things and I love, love, love to hear them laugh!

I love babies so much I have already threatened (I mean... promised) to follow my son to whatever part of the country he settles down in when he gets married and starts having children. He grew up way too fast. Now that I know firsthand that what they say is true about blinking and it being over – my “baby” is turning 21 in a week and a half - I want to make sure I don’t miss one second of my grandchildren’s childhoods. Anyway, since it will be awhile until those future grandchildren arrive (hope so anyway!), I must see this movie! The scenery in the trailer is breathtaking and the babies are so adorable (!!), I found myself wanting to reach through the screen to pick them up.

The second movie I can’t wait to see is… Sex and the City II http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjWl-82Yau4 . It opens on May 27th. You’d think being the rather conservative gal I am, this one would be a bit too racy for me. Well, call it a guilty pleasure if you must, but I love these girls! If Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte ever put out a call for a fifth friend, I will be submitting an application. The Sex and the City girls are smart, funny and stylish. They are true to each other. They value their friendships and boy do they have some handsome beaus and shoes.

I am mentioning these movies this weekend to give you time to prepare. I smiled from ear to ear when I saw the Babies trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBCNgnaFVI8 . I was not the only one. In fact, I believe my friends and movie neighbors and I may have temporarily blinded some poor gentleman who was getting up for popcorn during the clip. Here’s something to consider: watching 79 minutes of this type of over the top cuteness without working up to it, is probably very similar to running a marathon …when your previous exercise resume included nothing more strenuous than walking from the car to the counter at Baskin Robbins. If Carolyn Cleaves, a 63 year old woman I found on the web,



didn’t live on the complete opposite end of the country (close to Seattle) I’d probably call her up to see if she wanted to see this movie with me. That is because Carolyn Cleaves is the only person, with whom I am familiar, who has cheek muscles fit enough to face a challenge of this magnitude. Anyway, if you want to train for Babies, you may want to check out her website, http://www.carolynsfacialfitness.com/ .

Sex and the City requires a whole different level of preparation. When the first movie came out, I organized a little shindig for my friends. Our evening started with dinner at Luna’s on Park Ave in Winter Park and ended with Cosmos at Beluga’s in the Winter Park Village. It became obvious the minute we stepped into the theater that we were not the only group of women to turn watching this movie into an event. The last time I saw that many women in one place, it was at Menopause, the Musical. The few men who were in attendance looked like they had just swallowed sour milk and chased it with pureed sardines. They appeared to be in genuine physical pain.

"Girls Night Out" featuring the Sex and The City movie was a glam fest of the highest order. For as far as the eye could see, women were decked out in fabulous dresses, heels Carrie herself might have coveted and sparkly jewelry. Because I was in a different economic place that summer, I splurged on a lovely pink and orange paisley Michael Kors halter dress from Walk on Water and on matching hot pink wedge sandals from DSW. I had a manicure and pedicure for the occasion and of course, I had my hair done at Hot Heads. (It was shoulder length at the time and a tad on the darker side with a few wide blond highlights. I LOVED it!) If you plan on attending Sex and The City II (and if you’re one of my close friends I sure hope you do - and I sure hope you’ll go w/me), it’s time to start thinking about what to wear. *If I don't know you personally or if you don't live in Central Florida, that's OK. Just organize your own night out on the town. :)

My philosophy about getting dressed up for a special occasion is similar to my philosophy about decorating. There are places where corners can be cut and there are places where they shouldn’t be. This year, for example, I will be shopping in …. my closet :) for my Sex and the City dress. If I don’t like what I find there, I will shop in…. my BFF Nancy’s closet. I consider myself more of a shoe gal than a purse gal, but if I was a purse gal, I might consider patronizing a business that was profiled in the original movie. It’s called Bag, Borrow or Steal. Bag Borrow or Steal http://www.bagborroworsteal.com/aboutus is a business that lets women “borrow” or more accurately “rent” pricey designer handbags, sunglasses and jewelry for a week or longer at a fraction of what it would cost to purchase them. (I understand you can “borrow” a designer handbag for as little as $6 per/week.)



As for manicures and pedicures, they can be done the old fashioned way… at home w/a bottle of Cutex, an emery board, a few lotions and potions, which can be acquired at Sally’s, though they are probably already under your bathroom sink, and some great polish. If that’s not for you, the next step up would be a stop at a local beauty school or a high school cosmetology program. (Yes, they exist. If you’re in the Longwood/Altamonte area, just call Lake Brantley High School.) The level after that would involve a trip to a free standing nail salon at a local grocery store shopping center… you know the kind ...they call French manicures “pink and whites” :).

Don’t you love those designer/knockoff side by side pictures in the fashion magazines featuring a several thousand dollar outfit and its $150 twin? Well, follow the formula above and you’ll end up with a fabulous looking ensemble for much less than the magazine's "inexpensive" look… specifically you’d be spending about the same amount of money for your outfit that you’d spend on a sub sandwich and a Diet Coke. If you don’t rent the purse, your out of pocket would be even less than that. It would be … wait for it… ZERO $$! (I’m pretty sure we can all afford that!)

The one area where you do not want to cut corners is on your hair. Listen to me on this one, girls! I don’t care if you majored in Chemistry. I don’t if you mix and stir ingredients with precision of Giada de Laurentis. I don’t care if you have the steadiest of hands, a great eye and a four foot stack of old Glamour Magazine articles encouraging you to attempt to color your own hair. DON’T DO IT! Call Hot Heads and book your appointment 407-671-0480.

Anyway, just wanted to check in. I wanted to make sure that if you are awaiting great sex and adorable babies with the same measure of anticipation that I am… , you are doing what you need to do now to make those experiences even more pleasurable. Hope to see you soon… at the salon and/or at the movie theater. Enjoy the rest of your weekend! The HHG